Sure, this housewife is smiling now, but she's in recovery!
I'll be the first to admit, becoming a funky housewife never seemed to be in my remote future, not inevitable in the least--that was until I became a mother.
So, what exactly is a funky housewife pretell? She's the hardworking wife and mother who is either a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) or a WFHM (work from home mom), or what I like to call both--work from moms. Because for those diligent SAMH's who are not catching up on their DVR soaps while their kids raise themselves in front of Nick Jr., but rather actively taking care of your children--hell, you are working!
But, with all the care-taking of these amazingly, demanding little people we call children, it's quite natural to forget to take care of yourself in the process. I'm talking beyond the horrid mom jeans which (shall never see my wardrobe, I only worship the skinny jeans on my best day)--but the actual necessities of taking care of one's self.
To be blunt, funky housewife syndrome can include the obliviousness to any sort of self-maintenance. The offenses include forgoing make-up, or hair style application, paired with the uniform of ratted sweats, sealed with the hints of baby-spit-up, topped off with run-down sneakers, and perhaps for the funkiest--the failure to combine soap, water and a good lather for the day--or as the childless call it, a good ole' shower!
Sure, laugh now, I used to. But, now I readily admit I need help. Somehow, after being a mom to my spit-fire, and rambunctious 8-month-old daughter who is already determined to walk; I went from stilletos and high wedges to run down Ree-box sneakers. I recently made the transition from working outside the home in corporate America, trading in my daily uniform of trendy and fashion forward ensembles, to now as a work-from-home mom, donning my new daily attire of sweat shirts, jeans, and my yes, ratty Ree-box sneakers. I can't help but think, what the hell happened?
The fours years prior to when my husband and I were married and childless, it was almost effortless to keep myself easy on my husband's eyes. Tight paints, short skirts was all I needed to throw on to keep his attention. But, factor in a recovering post-baby body, paired with sleep deprivation, and the comfort of working from home--well it's a picture far less prettier than my blog image!
But, how do you know if you're suffering from funky housewife syndrome, and not just a mom-rut? Take my quiz to find out and then read on for some helpful tips on how to regain your groove back, mama! Relax, there is hope and recovery for you!
Mama's Groove Funky Housewife Quiz
- After a whirlwind day of Gymboree and Mommy-And-Me Classes with your two little ones, you're wiped. But, with your husband due home soon, you remembered you promised him a special evening after putting the kids to bed. In a rush to prepare you:
A) Jump in the shower, shave your legs and throw on those stripper heels he likes in 20 minutes flat.
B) Manage to put the kids to bed, but with little time to freshen up you, throw on that scent that drives him wild and that lingerie set which you call old faithful.
C) Give the kids a bath, but are too wiped to do much to yourself, other than throw on one of your hubby's t-shirts, hoping that will satisfy him until he complains.
- 2. It's your man's birthday and you promised him a great night at his favorite restaurant. With a busy day with the kids, you failed to pick up that new dress you know he would love. So instead you:
A) Get creative and hunt for that mini-skirt you know he loves, with the blouse you love that hides a slight muffin top. It's a win-win.
B) Panic, shortly before throwing on those jeans that drive him wild with cute ballet flats that ease your aching dogs after running after your kids all day. You feel golden.
C) Feel like giving up since you didn't have time to grab that dress. So you pull on your old standby of the wrap dress he's seen you in a zillion times. Never mind the need to spot clean baby spit-up from it.
- 3. It's date night and you're giddy because you can't even remember the last time you and your partner escaped for even a movie that wasn't a Disney one. But, as luck would have it, you're not feeling too hot. But, you'll be damned if any little cold ruins your evening. So you:
A) Dab some extra concealer under that red nose and throw sinus spray in your bag. Nothing is ruining your night!
B) Go to town on masking those dark circles, but go lax on your hair. Who said the pontytail is out?
C) Comfort sports fashion. A poncho sweater and sunglasses suit you. It's not like he hasn't seen you sick before.
- Uh, oh he has surprise for you and won't tell you where you're going...other than "you look fine."
A) After cursing him out under your breath, with no hint as to where you're going, you decide on your little black "freakum" dress. It never fails for any occasion.
B) Deciding not to stress, you expertly grab your wrap dress and peep toe heels--perfect combo of understated chic.
C) Ready to cry a river. You figure dress pants, and a crisp white button down, should suffice. No one should notice it's your go-to interview outfit right?
Mostly As') Congratulations for keeping it hot mama! You have seemed to master the balance between wiping tushes and rocking a good stilleto with red lipstick when the big guns are needed.Your husband or partner has no complaints within the keeping-it-hot department (Show off)!
Mostly Bs') Sweats vs. Skinny Jeans: Cue the cameras, you should have your own reality show, as you seem to toe the line well between a rough day, and a better night. You realize it's important to invest the little time and energy it takes to make yourself feel better, and your partner longing. You are a master at switching your style between mom, wife, and just plain woman. Congrats! You're the envy of all the funky housewives on your block, as they run to the mirror!
Mostly Cs') Headed to Funky Town: Say it ain't so. Girlfriend, between the baby spit-up and your toddler's breakfast cheerios stuck in your hair, your image is a cry for help. But, it's okay, you're obviously a super mom who has just temporarily lost your way.
Regardless of what you scored, if you're a hard-working mom, we could all admittedly use some help. But, putting forth a little extra effort into your appearance does not have to seem like another chore. Think small and what makes you feel good. If yoga pants are your thing, pair them with a great fitting t-shirt that frames your shape just right.
Or if you're a jewelry maven, add some big sparkly hoops to your look before running out the door. And if you're all for comfort and love your sneakers, make them a fabulous pair, scuff free pair! Whatever you do, don't give up on finding that right balance between feeling better about yourself. Because before you were a mother, you were simply a woman who maintained her groove!